Suffering
Suffering is generated from focusing on what we want something to be, seeing the difference between what we want and what is actually the reality in this moment.
The expectations of wants, needs and desires put projections onto something or someone that you want to be different from what they actually are, and this generates pain. When we want to force change upon another who is not living up to our expectations or desires, we may be feeding into blockages that make the situation of our own suffering become even worse. When we project our desires and needs onto others, when those expectations are not being met then people feel deeply hurt. And yet this hurt was produced from one’s own internal suffering by placing expectations upon another to relieve it, instead of finding deeper acceptance that allows each person to be who they are in this moment. When we find the generosity to hold total unconditional acceptance and love for others, we naturally find the same unconditional love and acceptance for ourselves.
If we want to be emotionally freed from feeling hurt and abandoned by other people, we must give up all expectations we have of other people, and find acceptance for them and the situation we may find ourselves in the moment.
Mental Rackets
Are you running mental rackets that are making you suffer? Mental rackets are fixed ways of thinking, being and behaviors that you refuse to change even if they are unhealthy or destructive to you and others. Fixed ways of being can be a mental program playing out certain archetypes or negative patterns, such as feeling victimized by something and looping into the Victim-Victimizer thoughts that generate repeated grievances and recurring complaints. If we have the same pattern of behaviors that generates recurring complaints about something or someone, then we have to take responsibility to change that mental pattern in order to begin to change the results that we make in our lives. Many people that constantly complain about the same issues and constantly feel hurt and betrayed by others, may not realize that deeply hidden in the Unconscious Mind, is a mental program running for an emotional payoff. There is a payoff for every emotionally driven behavior and thought, whether positive or negative, that can be used to manipulate types of responses that you want to get out of other people. We can choose to let them go once we have honestly identified the negative emotions that are repeating patterns, and then digging deeper for the emotional payoff that is received from that behavior.[1]
References