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Ego Defense Mechanism: Difference between revisions
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Our minds are programmed and then neurologically wired to select and interpret evidence supporting the relationship to our self as “I'm OK” and there is nothing wrong with me. A variety of mechanisms: conscious, unconscious, and social will direct our attention to ignore the negative | Our ego minds are programmed and then neurologically wired to select and interpret evidence supporting the relationship to our self as “I'm OK” and there is nothing wrong with me that I need to change, even when there is evidence that proves this to be contradictory. A variety of mechanisms: [[Conscious Mind|conscious]], [[Unconscious Mind|unconscious]], and social will direct our attention to ignore the negative behaviors we cause in our life and to instead highlight what we think is positive or acceptable in order to increase our optimism and reduce our anxiety when facing problems or challenges. | ||
Through the course of growing up from childhood into adulthood, we develop coping skills and will come to label people, places or objects in the environment that are acceptable or not acceptable in our belief systems. Ego defenses are similar to mental racketeering programs that are commonly used as coping mechanisms for reducing day to day anxiety, fears, and obsessions that are related to thought addiction or the need to control the environment. When we are addicted to our thoughts, we have lost balance with our feelings and sensory abilities that allow us to be fully present in the moment and be in a receptive mode to better discern the environment and their energies. | |||
We work hard to retain the belief that “I'm OK” and there is nothing is wrong with me, even when faced with repeated negative patterns and feeling unhappy in life. Self-justification based upon social and mental programs of acceptance of negative and harmful behaviors, is deeply ingrained in each of us in order to feel better. To cope in this world our mental patterns make it easier for us to surface skim the information in the environment that easily supports what we already think we know or believe. To remain comfortable with our world view through confirmation bias, even if its not working well for us, is the way we resist change, or resist the need for emotional and spiritual growth. <ref>[http://www.energeticsynthesis.com/index.php/resource-tools/blog-timeline-shift/2465-i-m-ok I'm ok]</ref> | |||
==Self Justification== | ==Self Justification== | ||
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==Mental Triggers== | ==Mental Triggers== | ||
When we identify these types of [[Mental Triggers]] that take us into distorted thought patterns, through noticing our tension, anxiety or frustration levels, we can switch the balance in ourselves to find a way to release our stress. Immediately we can shift tension through refocusing our mind into breath, or refocusing into the current moment sensory-feeling awareness. By refocusing oneself at the moment tension or stress is being experienced, it prevents impulsive reactions such as blurting out negative words or expressing angry behavior. When we express angry behavior impulsively, it is usually is not a pleasant or positive situation for ourselves or others around us. When we have allowed anger to make us impulsive it means we have embodied that angry state, which is not a healthy practice for anyone. This is very emotionally damaging in a person and in creating relationships based on [[Trust, Building Trust|trust with others]]. In most social situations, it is preferable to recognize anger and learn to observe that anger as it builds without allowing the angry state of being to overwhelm and take over one’s body, mind and emotions. It is possible to witness and feel anger instantaneously and to refocus that anger immediately, in so to refuse anger to become your identity as a person. | |||
When we identify these types of | |||
==Impulse Control by Refocusing== | ==Impulse Control by Refocusing== | ||
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As one learns how to refocus one’s thoughts, one prevents overwhelming states of emotion from triggering impulsive behaviors and angry reactions. As one develops strong impulse control they are learning a form of ego discipline through applied [[Spirit of Patience|patience]]. If we check in and find that we do not like what we may be feeling, we can learn better the reasons for that by further shifting into the observer mode. In our community, we call that process of observing as shifting from identifying with a thought or feeling by moving ourselves into the compassionate witness. As a [[Compassionate Witness]] we have no judgment of thoughts or feelings, we hold no judgment of what we are observing in the external, we only observe those thoughts and feelings in our self and others. When we can fully observe through our own [[Compassionate Witness]], we then become neutral and centered. Then, we can immediately find relief from our inner anxiety, fears and a host of other thought distortions. This process is key to shifting ego defense mechanisms, thought addiction tendency and releasing the anxiety or fear of feeling emotional depth or pain. By continually using an ego defense mechanism to avoid facing the source causation of the anxiety or deeply rooted fear, (which is unresolved pain or trauma) we are only perpetuating the mental looping which uses denial of the truth in order to avoid feeling pain or discomfort. Denial of the truth is the seed of all [[Ego Defense Mechanism]]s. | As one learns how to refocus one’s thoughts, one prevents overwhelming states of emotion from triggering impulsive behaviors and angry reactions. As one develops strong impulse control they are learning a form of ego discipline through applied [[Spirit of Patience|patience]]. If we check in and find that we do not like what we may be feeling, we can learn better the reasons for that by further shifting into the observer mode. In our community, we call that process of observing as shifting from identifying with a thought or feeling by moving ourselves into the compassionate witness. As a [[Compassionate Witness]] we have no judgment of thoughts or feelings, we hold no judgment of what we are observing in the external, we only observe those thoughts and feelings in our self and others. When we can fully observe through our own [[Compassionate Witness]], we then become neutral and centered. Then, we can immediately find relief from our inner anxiety, fears and a host of other thought distortions. This process is key to shifting ego defense mechanisms, thought addiction tendency and releasing the anxiety or fear of feeling emotional depth or pain. By continually using an ego defense mechanism to avoid facing the source causation of the anxiety or deeply rooted fear, (which is unresolved pain or trauma) we are only perpetuating the mental looping which uses denial of the truth in order to avoid feeling pain or discomfort. Denial of the truth is the seed of all [[Ego Defense Mechanism]]s. | ||
* Confirmation | * [[Confirmation Bias]]: is the strong human tendency to dismiss or distort evidence or facts that are contrary to our acceptable beliefs and readily seek out any kind of evidence that supports our views. | ||
* Denial: putting up a thought barrier and arguing against an anxiety-provoking stimuli by stating it doesn't exist. Refusing to perceive the more unpleasant aspects of the external reality. | * [[Denial]]: putting up a thought barrier and arguing against an anxiety-provoking stimuli by stating it doesn't exist. Refusing to perceive the more unpleasant aspects of the external reality. | ||
* Displacement: taking out any impulsive behavior on a less threatening target. The mind redirects difficult or painful emotions from a ‘dangerous’ object to a ‘safe’ object. When we are impulsive to others in this way we treat them as a whipping post for our painful emotions. | * [[Displacement]]: taking out any impulsive behavior on a less threatening target. The mind redirects difficult or painful emotions from a ‘dangerous’ object to a ‘safe’ object. When we are impulsive to others in this way we treat them as a whipping post for our painful emotions. | ||
* Intellectualization: avoiding unacceptable emotions or depth of intimacy by focusing on their intellectual aspects. Concentrating on the intellectual components of the situation to distance yourself from the anxiety-provoking emotions associated with these situations. | * [[Intellectualization]]: avoiding unacceptable emotions or depth of intimacy by focusing on their intellectual aspects. Concentrating on the intellectual components of the situation to distance yourself from the anxiety-provoking emotions associated with these situations. | ||
* Projection: moving unacceptable impulses in yourself onto someone else. Attributing to others your own unacceptable or unwanted thoughts or emotions. Sometimes if another makes us feel uncomfortable we will blame them for our own discomfort. | * [[Projection]]: moving unacceptable impulses in yourself onto someone else. Attributing to others your own unacceptable or unwanted thoughts or emotions. Sometimes if another makes us feel uncomfortable we will blame them for our own discomfort. | ||
* [[Rationalization]]: supplying a logical or rational reason to make excuses that are opposed to the real authentic reason. Constructing a logical justification for a decision that was originally arrived at through a different mental process or fuzzy logic. | |||
* [[Reaction Formation]]: taking the opposite belief because the true belief causes anxiety or discomfort. | |||
* [[Regression]]: returning to a previous stage of development. Reverting to an earlier stage of development in the face of unacceptable impulses or emotional pain. | |||
* | * [[Repression]]: pushing thoughts into the unconscious through setting up walls and preventing painful or dangerous thoughts from entering the conscious mind. Sublimation: acting out unacceptable impulses and destructive behaviors (such as addictions) in a socially acceptable way. | ||
* | * [[Sarcastic Humor]]: refocusing attention or inquiry on the comical side of the situation to relieve negative tension; similar to comic relief. Sometimes sarcasm is used to appear as humor when it is meant to belittle a person or being used as a put down to refuse to deal with the facts at hand. | ||
* | *[[Splitting]]: Splitting is a very common ego defense mechanism. It can be defined as the division or polarization of beliefs, actions, objects, or persons into good and bad by focusing selectively through ones own confirmation bias, on their positive or negative attributes. | ||
Being OK and knowing that things are OK around you is the beginning of returning to the neutral state of the [[Observer Point]]. When we return to everything is okay, I am OK, it corresponds to a person who is relaxed and not feeling fear or anxiety. Learning how to free the mind of primal thinking by learning how to refocus back into neutral and compassionate witnessing, is the direct key to the continual expansion of consciousness and achieving mental and emotional freedom. Practicing the [[Relationship Mastery Guidelines]] skill set in our every day life is very helpful as a replacement guide to dismantle ego defense mechanisms. | |||
==Splitting== | |||
[[Splitting]] is a very common [[Ego Defense Mechanism]]. It can be defined as the division or polarization of beliefs, actions, objects, or persons into good and bad by focusing selectively on their positive or negative attributes. Splitting diffuses the anxiety that arises from our inability to grasp the nuances and complexities of a given situation or state of affairs by simplifying and schematizing the situation and thereby making it easier to think about. It also reinforces our sense of self as good and virtuous by effectively demonizing all those who do not share in our same opinions and values. | |||
On the other hand, such a compartmentalization of opposites leaves us with a distinctly distorted picture of reality and a restricted range of thoughts and emotions; it also affects our ability to attract and maintain relationships, not only because it is tedious and unbecoming, but also because it can easily flip, with friends and lovers being thought of as personified virtue at one time and then as personified vice at another (and back and forth). | |||
Splitting also arises in groups, when members of the in-group are seen to have mostly positive attributes, whereas members of out-groups are seen to have mostly negative attributes - a phenomenon that contributes to group think and, indeed, inflexible attitudes of xenophobia.<ref>[https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/hide-and-seek/201203/self-deception-ii-splitting Splitting]</ref> | |||
==Building Self Esteem== | ==Building Self Esteem== | ||
[[Self Esteem]] formally is "the disposition to experience oneself as competent to cope with the basic challenges of life and as worthy of happiness", and while others (parents, teachers, friends) can nurture and support self-esteem in an individual, self-esteem relies upon various internally generated practices. To be responsible to take care of oneself is one way of building self esteem. In Nathan Branden's framework, there are six "pillars" of generating and building self-esteem:* Living consciously: the practice of being aware of what one is doing while one is doing it, i.e., the practice of mindfulness.* Self-acceptance: the practice of owning truths regarding one's thoughts, emotions, and behaviors; of being kind toward oneself with respect to them; and of being "for" oneself in a basic sense.* Self-responsibility: the practice of owning one's authorship of one's actions and of owning one's capacity to be the cause of the effects one desires.* Self-assertiveness: the practice of treating one's needs and interests with respect and of expressing them in appropriate ways.* Living purposefully: the practice of formulating goals and of formulating and implementing action plans to achieve them.* Personal integrity: the practice of maintaining alignment between one’s behaviors and convictions.Branden distinguishes his approach to self-esteem from that of many others by his inclusion of both confidence and worth in his definition of self-esteem, and by his emphasis on the importance of internally generated practices for the improvement and maintenance of self-esteem in every day life. <ref>[http://www.energeticsynthesis.com/index.php/resource-tools/ascension-tools/building-self-esteem Building Self Esteem]</ref> | [[Self Esteem]] formally is "the disposition to experience oneself as competent to cope with the basic challenges of life and as worthy of happiness", and while others (parents, teachers, friends) can nurture and support self-esteem in an individual, self-esteem relies upon various internally generated practices. To be responsible to take care of oneself is one way of building self esteem. In Nathan Branden's framework, there are six "pillars" of generating and building self-esteem: | ||
* Living consciously: the practice of being aware of what one is doing while one is doing it, i.e., the practice of mindfulness.* Self-acceptance: the practice of owning truths regarding one's thoughts, emotions, and behaviors; of being kind toward oneself with respect to them; and of being "for" oneself in a basic sense. | |||
* Self-responsibility: the practice of owning one's authorship of one's actions and of owning one's capacity to be the cause of the effects one desires. | |||
* Self-assertiveness: the practice of treating one's needs and interests with respect and of expressing them in appropriate ways. | |||
* Living purposefully: the practice of formulating goals and of formulating and implementing action plans to achieve them. | |||
* Personal integrity: the practice of maintaining alignment between one’s behaviors and convictions.Branden distinguishes his approach to self-esteem from that of many others by his inclusion of both confidence and worth in his definition of self-esteem, and by his emphasis on the importance of internally generated practices for the improvement and maintenance of self-esteem in every day life. <ref>[http://www.energeticsynthesis.com/index.php/resource-tools/ascension-tools/building-self-esteem Building Self Esteem]</ref> | |||
==Strong Moral Character== | |||
[[File:Image001.png|thumb|right|God-Sovereign-Free (GSF)]]To better identify conduct in people and groups that are representative of trustworthy behaviors, we will also need to improve our understanding of the conduct that defines both trustworthy and untrustworthy behaviors. Trustworthy behavior is modeled in the ethical conduct we observe in people with [[Strong Moral Character]] and strong core center. Untrustworthy behavior is modeled as unethical conduct in people with weak moral character and weak center. | |||
==References== | ==References== | ||
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==See Also== | ==See Also== | ||
[[Doublespeak]] | |||
[[Trust, Building Trust]] | |||
[[Fundamental Human Needs]] | [[Fundamental Human Needs]] | ||