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False Friend: Difference between revisions
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==Pretending to Help== | ==Pretending to Help== | ||
PRETENDING TO WANT TO HELP: This is a big issue in any group, community or organizational setting. Certainly this is a painful issue we have dealt with here in the ES community. Manipulators and control freaks actually like to pretend to be helpful even though that is not really their real motivation. What they really want is a sense of control over something or access to someone. It may be that there is some power trip, status or personal goal that is believed can be achieved by pretending to be helpful to someone else. Many times these people create a lot of destruction and extra work in the guise of” being helpful”. Then when the person/organization who is supposed to be receiving the help is getting a bunch of extra problems, the person uses guilt trips to say how unappreciated and undervalued they really are. Open communication and assessment of qualifications and emotional maturity are a must in any organization which concerns a group. See [[Emotional Manipulation]]. | PRETENDING TO WANT TO HELP: This is a big issue in any group, community or organizational setting. Certainly this is a painful issue we have dealt with here in the ES community. Manipulators and control freaks actually like to pretend to be helpful even though that is not really their real motivation. What they really want is a sense of control over something or access to someone. It may be that there is some power trip, status or personal goal that is believed can be achieved by pretending to be helpful to someone else. Many times these people create a lot of destruction and extra work in the guise of” being helpful”. Then when the person/organization who is supposed to be receiving the help is getting a bunch of extra problems, the person uses guilt trips to say how unappreciated and undervalued they really are. Open communication and assessment of qualifications and emotional maturity are a must in any organization which concerns a group. See [[Emotional Manipulation]]. | ||
==False Friends and Fake People== | |||
One of the most difficult and painful lessons many newly awakening people have on the spiritual path is gaining strong discernment in one’s ability to clearly identify the shiny glamour of appearances that is generally behind fakery and fake people. We tend to be unaware of fake people that use false friendliness towards us when we are unclear about our personal value system and the ways of which to practically embody personal integrity. We encounter many different kinds of people throughout our lives, and for those of us committed to spiritual growth and the building of meaningful relationships, it is necessary to become aware of when people are being genuine and when they may not have the best of intentions. | |||
Fake people with surface smiles or people lacking self-awareness tend to attract more fakery and false friends as the result of the lack clarity they have in directing their own lives in alignment with a personal value system. When people are confused or unaware of the necessity to shape their own personal value system, they lack self-awareness, and tend to be oblivious in how their dishonest actions may influence others. Fake people generally provide a reflective mirror highlighting certain areas in our lives where we also may lack self-awareness, providing an opportunity to shine a light on blind spots for mastering our egoic lessons. If we can recontextualize false friend situations when we felt betrayed or when we discover fake appearances in others as an opportunity for increased spiritual growth, we can convert these unpleasant lessons as a powerful means of which to gain stronger discernment and in which to see the red flags immediately. | |||
The emotional danger of connecting with fake people is that we can more easily misplace our trust in someone we thought was a genuine friend, and when that trust is broken, we may perceive that to be a significant betrayal. Emotional and spiritual betrayals can be devastating in such ways that can leave us emotionally shattered when we experience what we perceive to be a great betrayal from someone we trusted. In these moments, if we surrender to the painful situation as a lesson for intuitive discernment in order to be able to see people’s true moral character and genuine intentions more clearly, we may increase our intuitive ability in all interactions we do have, which builds the qualities of trust. | |||
Building trust within ourselves and knowing how to build solid, genuine and trustworthy relationships takes some personal effort directed towards self-study in exploring personal integrity that is made through daily self-reflection and meditation. Through our meditations we direct compassion to ourselves and compassion to others, reflecting on the positive qualities we want to grow in our lives. We achieve greater self-awareness by paying attention to our thoughts, behaviors and reactions, so that we get crystal clear on where we place our attention and then determine our value system in order to stay aligned to what is meaningful in order to remain true to ourselves. | |||
It may be a powerfully positive process to review your core values, so that you can see how you are evolving and transforming, as you better stay aligned to your own personal value system.<ref>[https://energeticsynthesis.com/resource-tools/blog-timeline-shift/3852-practical-application-of-embodying-integrity Embody Integrity Blog]</ref> | |||
==References== | ==References== | ||