Counterfeit Conversations
In everyday communication it is very common that people engage in fake conversations to avoid facing conflicts or challenging topics, because they fear the ramifications from what they say. Many people avoid conflicts and run away from saying things that need to be expressed, because they take things too personally and don’t know how to emotionally self-regulate.
In considering the impact of choosing to participate in Counterfeit Conversations, this engages with the root of dishonesty when avoiding saying something that needs to be said when there are conflicts that need to be addressed. Ignoring the issues and dancing around the conflict when you know they are present, will only exacerbate the problem, inviting in dark forces of confusion and chaos. To avoid fake conversations generated on autopilot, take a moment to reflect and to consider a more accurate and truthful way to reply.
When we are congruent with our speech, words, behavior and actions simultaneously, our body language, words, tone, facial expressions become integrated and coherent. If you pay attention to the energetic subtleties revealed in body language, all of the patterns in the person’s expression are matching in a congruent way.
Conversely it is made clear when these patterns do not match, revealing that something is off kilter and not congruent within that person. This is usually because the person feels unsafe, their nervous system is in Fight-Flight and they have to hide behind a façade, with a false identity that engages in Counterfeit Conversations.
We begin to increase our ability to trust ourselves and live in alignment to our authentic nature when we start being fully present in our communications, by saying what we really mean in order to reflect our Personal Integrity.[1]
Say What You Mean, Mean What You Say
On the road to building Personal Integrity and developing trust and respect between mutual parties in communications, it is important that you Say What You Mean, Mean What You Say and be kind when you say it.
Further, align with your words by representing yourself as you really are, and doing what you said you were going to do. When you do communicate, reflect upon the intention of the words you choose as being honest, truthful, and trustworthy, as these qualities build strong inner and outer Personal Integrity.
False Friends and Fake People
One of the most difficult and painful lessons many newly Awakening people have on the spiritual path is gaining strong Discernment in one’s ability to clearly identify the shiny glamour of appearances that is generally behind fakery and fake people. We tend to be unaware of fake people that use false friendliness towards us when we are unclear about our Personal Value System and the ways of which to practically embody Personal Integrity. We encounter many different kinds of people throughout our lives, and for those of us committed to spiritual growth and the building of meaningful relationships, it is necessary to become aware of when people are being genuine and when they may not have the best of intentions.
Fake People with surface smiles or people lacking self-awareness tend to attract more fakery and false friends as the result of the lack clarity they have in directing their own lives in alignment with a personal value system. When people are confused or unaware of the necessity to shape their own personal value system, they lack self-awareness, and tend to be oblivious in how their dishonest actions may influence others. Fake people generally provide a reflective mirror highlighting certain areas in our lives where we also may lack self-awareness, providing an opportunity to shine a light on blind spots for mastering our egoic lessons. If we can recontextualize false friend situations when we felt betrayed or when we discover fake appearances in others as an opportunity for increased spiritual growth, we can convert these unpleasant lessons as a powerful means of which to gain stronger discernment and in which to see the red flags immediately.
The emotional danger of connecting with fake people is that we can more easily misplace our trust in someone we thought was a genuine friend, and when that trust is broken, we may perceive that to be a significant betrayal. Emotional and Spiritual Betrayals can be devastating in such ways that can leave us emotionally shattered when we experience what we perceive to be a great betrayal from someone we trusted. In these moments, if we surrender to the painful situation as a lesson for intuitive discernment in order to be able to see people’s true moral character and genuine intentions more clearly, we may increase our intuitive ability in all interactions we do have, which builds the qualities of Trust.
Building Trust within ourselves and knowing how to build solid, genuine and trustworthy relationships takes some personal effort directed towards self-study in exploring personal integrity that is made through daily self-reflection and meditation. Through our meditations we direct compassion to ourselves and Compassion to others, reflecting on the positive qualities we want to grow in our lives. We achieve greater self-awareness by paying attention to our thoughts, behaviors and reactions, so that we get crystal clear on where we place our attention and then determine our value system in order to stay aligned to what is meaningful in order to remain true to ourselves.
It may be a powerfully positive process to review your core values, so that you can see how you are evolving and transforming, as you better stay aligned to your own personal value system.[2]