False Friend: Difference between revisions

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Lisa

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 [[False Friend]] (i.e. Surface : I am so Proud of you! I want to be your friend on my terms of self entitlement. Hidden: Let me drain your light now!)
-The [[False Friend]] may be a dark portal that uses false flattery and is unusually "lovey-dovey", yet will become aggressive when they do not get what they want from you, whatever that hidden motivation or desire actually is. When they do not get what they want, they explode in anger, blame, finger pointing and making their issue your fault. They may think you are a "bad person" because you did not give them whatever they wanted. Many control freaks act out this way. This may be to derail or distract you from paying attention to what you need to be at that time.
+The [[False Friend]] may be a dark portal that uses [[False Flattery]] and is unusually "lovey-dovey", yet will become aggressive when they do not get what they want from you, whatever that hidden motivation or desire actually is. When they do not get what they want, they explode in anger, blame, finger pointing and making their issue your fault. They may think you are a "bad person" because you did not give them whatever they wanted. Many control freaks act out this way. This may be to derail or distract you from paying attention to what you need to be at that time.
+==Pretending to Help==
+PRETENDING TO WANT TO HELP: This is a big issue in any group, community or organizational setting. Certainly this is a painful issue we have dealt with here in the ES community. Manipulators and control freaks actually like to pretend to be helpful even though that is not really their real motivation. What they really want is a sense of control over something or access to someone. It may be that there is some power trip, status or personal goal that is believed can be achieved by pretending to be helpful to someone else. Many times these people create a lot of destruction and extra work in the guise of” being helpful”. Then when the person/organization who is supposed to be receiving the help is getting a bunch of extra problems, the person uses guilt trips to say how unappreciated and undervalued they really are. Open communication and assessment of qualifications and emotional maturity are a must in any organization which concerns a group.
 ==References==