Self Acceptance: Difference between revisions

Forgiving yourself is the most important action one can take to clearing self-sabotaging bonds of victimhood and their painful wounds from past, present and future. A forgiveness technique is to practice self-acceptance. NO person needs forgiveness for just being who they are. The practice of forgiving yourself is about targeting the specific things that make one feel bad about themselves, the things that make one feel inadequate or unworthy and not about the truth of the real person that you are. As a forgiveness technique, self-acceptance allows one to acknowledge that you are a good person, with faults and all. This does not mean that one ignores the faults or stops making genuine attempts to improve oneself,  but it does mean that one values themselves above ALL of those elements. When one recognizes self-worth by acknowledging ones whole self, then the personal power is generated to stop allowing these faults to be used as weaknesses and continually halt ones progression and evolution throughout life. Love yourself unconditionally and give yourself permission to heal with the necessary time it takes to do so. Understanding the importance of forgiveness is that it brings you to the current state of now, rather than dwelling on past hurts and pain. Forgiveness allows one to live in the present instead of the past, which means that one can move into the future with a renewed sense of purpose focused on change, improvement, and building on current experiences,  rather than being held back by past pain. Some people are afraid to forgive themselves because they fear losing their sense of self that has been built on the foundation of anger, resentment, blame and vulnerability. In this case, one may ask themselves if feeling victimized and angry, being the easily hurt and reactive person is the identity you want to show the world and live with as your image.  Is the familiarity of being in the victim or victimizer role, or the perceived ego security of this mode of thinking, actually worth the energy, effort and harm it is causing you? Without the ability to forgive and accept circumstances, in relationship to the self and others, not only does one allow themselves to remain stuck in the past, but this takes a huge energetic drain on your emotional and physical health. Inability to forgive is sourced from anger and resentment, two emotions that can wreak havoc with your health and keep one stagnated. Always remember that forgiving does not equate with forgetting. Each painful or negative experience can be shifted into the context of learning and self-mastery and one can be guided into higher wisdom through that experience. It's about ending the cycles of resentment, bitterness and self-inflicted berating that comes with remembering the painful issues of the past. There is a frequent misunderstanding that forgiveness equates to forgetting or condoning the actions of the past. This misunderstanding can lead a person to feel that it is not right to forgive oneself because in the process of doing so, it's akin to an act of forgetting or condoning the past wrong. If this is the factor that is preventing you from forgiving yourself, keep in mind that forgiveness is a process of mindfulness in which one continues to remember what happened and not condoning something that was "wrong" as suddenly made "right". It's perfectly fine to say: "I am not proud of what I've done (or how I've devalued myself) but I'm moving on for the sake of my health, my well-being, and those around me." Affirming this is spiritually healthy and allows one to break the cycle of self-harm that one has fallen into because of openly acknowledging what was faulty and the intention to improve and strengthen ones character from now on. By staying true to oneself, this action builds self-esteem, through the esteeming acts one is committed to make towards loving oneself. To better understand and define self–esteem, it is simply holding oneself in high regard as a result of many factors that determine worth as the unique person that you are. It is easy to remember you are loved unconditionally by God source and to meditate with the intention to flow the grace of unconditional loving kindness to your own heart to feel self-love.With self-love and healthy self-acceptance one can build self-esteem. Self- esteem does not require regarding one self’s behaviors as always perfect nor does it demand from a person to be faultless or blameless, rather, it is placing value on the entire self as priceless, worthy and unique. Positive human development is based on healthy self-acceptance and self-esteem. This is a gift we must learn to give to ourselves, especially if we were the victims of great abuse and childhood trauma. The Mirror Exercise is probably the most powerful self-acceptance tool and self-healing exercise that you can ever do - and the simplest. ==The Mirror Exercise==This exercise will achieve the maximum benefit if repeated at the same time every day for a period of about 10 to 15 minutes. The most beneficial times are first thing on getting up in the morning and last thing before going to bed at night. If these times are impossible, then you can set aside two other times for you when you will not be disturbed. You will require a full length mirror with a space in front of it so that you can stand fully naked in front of the mirror and be able to see the whole of your body. The room should be of a comfortable temperature so that you are neither too hot nor too cold. In standing in front of the mirror, place your feet "shoulder width" apart so that, if you were to draw a line straight down to the floor from the outside edge of your shoulders this line will touch the outside of your foot. Allow your weight to be evenly distributed on each foot. Spend a few moments taking in the whole of the reflection of you, and then focus your attention on a point on your forehead, exactly between your eyes and about 2 cm or 1 in above the line of your eyes.During the whole of this exercise, the mantra which you should repeat to yourself (out aloud so that your body hears your voice) is "I accept myself, in this moment, just the way I am". I have written this "mantra" in English, but you will gain a greater benefit if you translate it into your "native" language - and if your mother spoke another language or dialect when you were in her womb, the use of this translation will also be beneficial.During the whole of the exercise, place your hands, palms pushed together in front of you. As you initially do this, feel the pressure on your palms, up through your arms, across your shoulders, back and chest. This is the pressure between left and right, male and female, past and future. Somewhere in the center, you will (with practice) find a space of "no pressure" - this is the center of your being and it will be somewhere in the middle of your body in a direct line with your visual focus on your forehead. During the whole of the period, you should "imagine" that on one breath cycle, you are breathing in through the top of your head and filling your center then breathing out through the soles of your feet. The next breath cycle is the reverse - in through the soles of the feet to your center and out through the top of the head.As you breathe, allow your sense of hearing to focus on the sound the breath makes as it moves through your body. During the breathing, allow the out-breath to release any thoughts, impressions and feelings that may arise - using the in-breath to "fill" the empty space created by the release of the thought. With practice, you should be able to find a gap between the in-breath out-breath in-breath and you may find that you "drop" into it. You cannot create this "gap". Comment: It may be necessary to practice this exercise a few times before it happens by itself and all of the stages "fall" into place. Do not look for any outcome - just practice for the practice and, after a certain time of releasing all of your discomfort, the practice will "do you". When it does this, you will know and the experience will be yours alone. Please Note: If you consciously use this exercise to involve another person for ANY reason, the probable outcome is that you will immediately take on every subconscious and unconscious dis-ease that the other person may be afflicted with. This mirror exercise is between yourself and your own naked reflection. (Adapted source partially from Building Self Esteem, Wiki How: Forgiveness, Thank you for Mirror Exercise is from http://www.anunda.com/support/mirror.htm)