To build inner Coherence, and ultimately find harmony with the world as it exists now, the first major task is to improve our emotional competency. Emotional Competence refers to one's ability to express or release one's inner feelings and emotions in positive or productive ways. It allows the ease to communicate with other people, the ability to face stressful challenges without indulging in destructive behaviors, and determines one's ability to effectively and successfully self-lead and communicate in social situations. Emotional Competence is an essential social skill to recognize and interpret, including the capacity to respond positively to emotions in our selves and others. Emotional competence creates an increased energetic coherence, as well as improved health, through avoiding stress that comes as the result of suppressed emotions. It leads to improved relationships since destructive emotions are far less likely to be expressed, while appropriate communication is not avoided through unhealed fears of triggering some unwanted emotion. We all can learn to free ourselves from anger, hate, resentment, vengeance, and other destructive emotions that cause hurt and pain.
When strengthening our character, by increasing our tolerance and Compassion for others, we help to develop Emotional Competence, as well as more confidence and Self Esteem. These qualities help us to have a better understanding and interpretation of what is actually happening around us, which increases our accuracy in the Discernment of events. Negative and destructive emotions that are suppressed and hidden greatly cloud our discernment and interpretation of events in our life.
- What emotions can you recognize and describe?
- How well can you interpret what your emotions are telling you?
- How successfully do you respond to emotions in yourself and others?
Without personal goals of desiring to increase our emotional competence and being honest with ourselves, we risk playing out destructive emotions in our self-talk, and when interacting with others. Unfortunately, if we do not heal our negative emotions, we will become prisoners of this inner violence, without understanding why we have been consumed in pain throughout so much of our lives. When we are prisoners of our own Inner Violence, we are in bondage to the negative behaviors that fuel levels of psychosis or neurosis. This unhealed state of inner violence leads to splitting behaviors of the Negative Ego. As a result of the bifurcation, if unhealed inner violence is still present, these uncleared negative energies create a lot of pain and suffering that commonly produce Splitting Behaviors in people. (For more tools see www.emotionalcompetency.com)