Fear is the main manipulation tool of the Controller archetype that is designed to generate perceptions of being threatened and feeling unsafe in the company of others and in any kind of social setting. It also produces Relationally Unsafe People, who are generally unethical, disrespectful people that lack empathy for others.
Essentially, Unsafe People have weak character qualities that tend to spread fear and disunity, which make other people feel unsafe while in their presence. Many unsafe people have developed walls to distance themselves from others because of their hidden fears, that stem from unhealed personal Trauma. All of us have been in the company of an unsafe person and noticed how uncomfortable and tense we may feel while in their presence. When we cannot be authentic and truthful in the presence of another because we fear they will judge, persecute or attack us for revealing ourselves, we feel deeply uncomfortable, drained and unsafe when we are in their presence. Many relationally unsafe people are ruled by their fears and many of their reactions and impulses are made unconsciously, through their unhealed mental or emotional triggers.
Let’s bring to mind some fear based Negative Ego qualities that create relationally unsafe people, people we cannot be completely truthful around without fearing we will suffer some kind of repercussion, attack or punishment. Unsafe people can be judgmental, blaming, manipulative, dishonest, narcissistic, emotionally unstable, irresponsible, gossips, Gaslighters, control freaks, back-stabbers, demanding, and entitled with superior attitudes. Sounds like a lot of darkness is present in those behaviors, doesn’t it? When in the company of people that demonstrate these fear based negative ego qualities, we may need to create strong boundaries and set the terms of our interaction with them. In some cases we may need to sever the connection entirely. There is generally nothing positive that will come from continually feeding destructive, harmful or abusive relationship patterns that refuse to heal or evolve. We have to plant seeds where there is fertile soil, if we want a garden to grow. And to shift out of the negative polarity of fear, one may need to pull weeds, or walk away from that relationship pattern as an act of self-love and self-preservation.
However, if we habitually feel unsafe with others, it may be we need to demystify the reasons we feel afraid, and discern the difference between people that demonstrate unsafe behaviors, and those who demonstrate responsible and safe behaviors. This also means that if we feel unsafe, it is our spiritual duty to build safety within ourselves by developing inner strength, based in the higher qualities that make us a safe person to be around.
Strong spiritual foundation is built upon the cornerstone of moral character development and building trust inside and outside for ourselves. Trust is built upon the consistent ethical behaviors of moral conduct where people are treated with equal respect and kindness, and allowed to be who they are without repercussion. As much as you may feel unsafe with others, are you yourself a safe person for others to be around? Many times what we fear in others is the hidden unconscious behavior that we have not cleared from within our own deepest selves. Until we are willing to look at these hidden fears, we can also easily project or transfer these fears onto other people.
As a basic guideline for extracting fears by replacing negative qualities with positive qualities, is monitoring day-to-day thoughts and behaviors. We can look to GSF Behavior or simply adhere to the Golden Rule. Treat others' as you would like to be treated, and intend to build Self Esteem through esteeming actions.