Emotional Self-Regulation or regulation of emotion is the ability to respond to the ongoing demands of life experiences with the range of emotions in a balanced manner that is spiritually healthy and supportive for the individual, the purpose is to reduce or eliminate self harming behaviors as a result of a lack of Impulse Control. Emotional Self-Regulation is directly related to increasing ones Emotional Competence and Coherence.
It can also be defined as extrinsic and intrinsic processes responsible for monitoring, evaluating, and modifying emotional reactions. Emotion self-regulation belongs to the broader set of emotion-regulation processes, which includes the regulation of one's own feelings and the regulation of perception over other people's feelings.
Emotional regulation is a complex process that involves initiating, inhibiting, or modulating one's state or behavior in a given situation – for example the subjective experience (feelings), cognitive responses (thoughts), emotion-related physiological responses (for example heart rate or hormonal activity), and emotion-related behavior (bodily actions or expressions). Functionally, emotional regulation can also refer to processes such as the tendency to focus one's attention to a task and the ability to suppress harmful or destructive behavior under the instruction of ones personal choice to do so. Emotional regulation is a highly significant function in human life.
Every day, people are continually exposed to a wide variety of potentially arousing stimuli. Harmful, extreme or unchecked emotional reactions to such stimuli could impede levels of function within society; therefore, people must engage in some form of emotion regulation almost all of the time. Generally speaking, emotional dysregulation has been defined as difficulties in controlling the influence of emotional arousal on the negative qualities of thoughts, actions, and interactions. Individuals who are emotionally dysregulated exhibit patterns of responding in which there is a mismatch between their goals, responses, and/or modes of expression, and the demands of the social environment. Generally, this can be explained through the conditioning of Cognitive Dissonance which interferes and mismatches emotional and mental signaling. For example, there is a significant association between emotion dysregulation and symptoms of depression, anxiety, eating pathology, and substance abuse. Higher levels of emotion regulation are likely to be related to both high levels of coherence, competence and the expression of more harmonized and authentic emotions. 
Mental Bondage and Emotional Suffering
When our minds can only think about surviving perceived threats, we are easily controlled and manipulated through blind spots created from our own fears. This defines the state of mental bondage and suffering. Through perpetual states of feeling fear and anxiety, our Critical Thinking, Executive Function and Emotional Self-Regulation skills that help us to resolve problems in our life are essentially eliminated. We are unable to face challenges and solve problems effectively when fear lives in our mind. Overcoming Fear is the main lesson, we have to regain control over our mind and be able to accurately assess ourselves in our surroundings. Overcoming Fear also contains vital keys in becoming the director of our own lives, as well as leading us to achieve mental, emotional and spiritual freedom, or a life without suffering.
Assessing Personal Safety
We must make an effort to identify what choices we do have, and make changes in our environment that can increase our sense of safety and comfort while in our physical space. Assess the physical and emotional safety of your environment, and realize it may be necessary to remove people or situations from your life who are entrenched in destructive and harmful behaviors, in order to make the necessary changes to your lifestyle. When we are more competent in Emotional Self-Regulation our inner safety is enhanced, so that trust can be formed, as we discover that we really do have the resources inside of us for feeling comforted and safe.
Executive Function and Emotional Self-Regulation
While most of humanity is unaware of the darkness that exists in fear based perceptions that govern the decisions they make, it robs them of the executive function required in having the cognitive control that is needed to help them function more effectively in every area of their lives. If a person does not have Self-Discipline or control over their own mental processes and impulses, it impairs their ability to be an independent thinker, which allows for autonomy over the direction of their own life. This means their life is not their own, they are unable to emotionally self-regulate and assess the environment. They are weakened in their ability to monitor their thoughts and behaviors, that assist in the attainment of their personal goals. When a person refuses to be responsible for their thoughts and behaviors, they are run by their external perceptions and fears, and are generally being easily manipulated by other people or dominating forces.
Essentially, consistent fear based thoughts impair Executive Function and cognitive control, which weakens brain function and mental processes over time, and is similar to brain impairment from an injury. When fear based thinking is not corrected, it can lead to many mental disorders such as learning disabilities and attention deficit, as well as amplifications of psychic attack and dark interference. Learning disabilities impair people from adapting their behaviors in order to gain different results in their life situation. It is the inability to evaluate and organize information that allows a person to accurately assess their surroundings and respond to it effectively. The Frequency of Fear is a toxic stress that has damaging effects on behavior, as well as the nervous system and brain chemistry, weakening the frontal lobe and impairing a range of mental processes. It is important to understand that fear based thinking is highly toxic, and that wrong thinking and negative attitudes skew perceptions into common symptoms of classic learning disabilities. Fear damages the brains ability to receive and process information, it impairs perception and intuition. On the ascending roadmap to Self-Ownership, we must grasp the Spiritual Lessons of fear that we must overcome.
In Overcoming Fear, we can improve our brain function and mental processes that enable positive behaviors that help us to make healthy and balanced choices for our selves and our families. When we can clear fear and instead focus attention, meditate and hold Observer Point, it strengthens our mental flexibility so that we can filter out distractions, retain information, prioritize tasks and control impulses. All people have the potential to develop these mental skills and improve their brain function, by being provided with support in growth promoting environments. This is how any person can regain strong Executive Function skills and Emotional Self-Regulation, which increases coherent mental and emotional body integration. 
Counterfeit Conversations and Self-Regulation
In everyday communication it is very common that people engage in Fake Conversations to avoid facing conflicts or challenging topics, because they fear the ramifications from what they say. Many people avoid conflicts and run away from saying things that need to be expressed, because they take things too personally and don’t know how to emotionally self-regulate.
In considering the impact of choosing to participate in Counterfeit Conversations, this engages with the root of dishonesty when avoiding saying something that needs to be said when there are conflicts that need to be addressed. Ignoring the issues and dancing around the conflict when you know they are present, will only exacerbate the problem, inviting in dark forces of confusion and chaos. To avoid fake conversations generated on autopilot, take a moment to reflect and to consider a more accurate and truthful way to reply.
We begin to increase our ability to trust ourselves and live in alignment to our authentic nature when we start being fully present in our communications, by saying what we really mean in order to reflect our Personal Integrity.
Say What You Mean, Mean What You Say
On the road to building Personal Integrity and developing trust and respect between mutual parties in communications, it is important that you Say What You Mean, Mean What You Say and be kind when you say it.
Further, align with your words by representing yourself as you really are, and doing what you said you were going to do. When you do communicate, reflect upon the intention of the words you choose as being honest, truthful, and trustworthy, as these qualities build strong inner and outer Personal Integrity.