Establishing Safety to Overcome Fear

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If we are to begin to recognize the qualities that define Safe People and safe relationships, we need to first understand what a safe person is and why we need that kind of safety to overcome fear. We need people in our life that will be honest with us, telling us where we are creating harm and potentially where we may need to change, in order to improve ourselves. We need friends that walk according to the truth and are accepting of us, yet they are honest about our weaknesses and faults without condemning us.

Relationships in which people use shame, guilt or condemn us for our actions are ultimately destructive and traumatizing, which does not produce emotional or spiritual growth. These are the Unsafe People that require us to be different than who we are, in order to be accepted and conditionally loved by them. Conditional love that must be earned is useless, it is a made up projection from the Negative Ego demands and is not real love. If we do not have this kind of safe person around us yet, we can become that person for our selves and others. As we intend to clear fears and improve our character, we attract similar people.

Safe people can be fully present with others, connecting at deep and intimate levels. Safe people can speak truth to one another, without being offended or taking things personally. Safe people give others the opportunity to grow and become their highest expression, for them as God intended. Safe people create loving and positive feelings and inspire good works, such as being in Service to Others. Safe people create relationships that allow people to be as they are, and draw us closer to feel unity and connection with all of life.

In order to heal our mental and emotional body to overcome deep fears, we must know how to establish safety within ourselves and recognize what makes us feel unsafe. Taking good care of our body, having a consistent meditation or spiritual practice to become more inner directed, avoiding exposure to self-harming behaviors, and learning how to manage fear or trauma reactions is essential to being safe within yourself. The first step is to identify what makes us feel safe and stable and to do those things every day. We must make an effort to identify what choices we do have, and make changes in our environment that can increase our sense of safety and comfort while in our physical space. Assess the physical and emotional safety of your environment, and realize it may be necessary to remove people or situations from your life who are entrenched in destructive and harmful behaviors, in order to make the necessary changes to your lifestyle. When we are more competent in Emotional Self-Regulation our inner safety is enhanced, so that trust can be formed, as we discover that we really do have the resources inside of us for feeling comforted and safe.[1]

Setting Healthy Boundaries

When we are more competent in Emotional Self-Regulation our inner safety is enhanced so that more trust can be formed and we discover that we really do have the resources inside of us for feeling more comfort and feeling safe. Now, sometimes we're going to need to maintain healthy boundaries in order to feel more safe and centred especially when in a group situation or difficult family situations. It could be any kind of situation. “Healthy boundaries” is a must. So, think about how you're feeling when you're around a person who drains you, pushes your buttons maybe consciously or unconsciously to upset you, someone with whom you feel you may easily lose your centre maybe lose your Impulse Control. Sometimes this happens when people are controlling, they're pushy, they're manipulating or they're demanding of our time and energy. How does this feel in your body? How does it feel in your mind? How does the presence of this particular person actually affect you?

Take notice of people and places that tend to drain you. Find neutrality in that situation by intending to connect with the inner compassionate witness. Just observe without judgement or reaction. Do not engage yet set appropriate boundaries. Before entering those places or exposing yourself to people whom you have a draining or vampiric sensation take a few minutes to fortify yourself and amplify your personal shield. Think of it as your inner energy space that will only allow love and positivity within it deflecting anything else. Focus on the Spirits of Christ as being inside your 12D Shield and this personal space protecting you and guiding you through your path in the day. See it and feel it as the force of it around you. Then recognize what action or non-action you're required to be responsible to maintain that peaceful inner space by setting healthy and appropriate boundaries.

References


See Also

Relationally Unsafe People

Overcoming Fear